I am Vince and I am fat.

My name is Vince Vaughn and I am fat. There. I said it. That's tough to admit, you see, because all my life (well, except the last 6 years or so), I've been the tall skinny guy. The guy who people call bean-pole, tall-drink-of-water, tooth-pick, spindle-shanks, etc. etc. Now, people don't really call me anything. They just get out of my way at the buffet line. When I'm boarding a plane people watch me approach the seats in fear that I just might be the guy who is fated to sit next to them, pinning them tightly in their seats for the next few hours, swapping shoulder sweat with me. Ewww...

You may have noticed that my name is Vince Vaughn. If you don't know me, then I feel obligated to mention that, no, I am not the actor Vince Vaughn. Obviously I share his name. But there's more that he and I share: we're both 6'5". We both graduated in 1988. We both have 'A' as our middle initial. We both were once skinny and are now fat.

The Actor Before	The Actor Now

Me Before	Me Now

I know what you are thinking: Shameful. Disgusting. Humiliating. You are undoubtedly shaking your head in disappointment in the human race. Perhaps you are even making a mental note to forward this visual atrocity to your friends. Not that anyone admits to enjoy looking at a tragedy directly in the face, but there is something deep inside us that causes to slow and look at car accidents or waste hours on Youtube watching "EPIC FAILS".

This is no different.

"Hey," you say to your friend, "you gotta see how this guy let himself go. I mean, wow, it's like he's William Shatner only not as cool."

"Yeah," your friend replies "he's like a much taller Elizabeth Taylor."

You pause. "I don't get it."

"I'm just sayin'," says your friend "once thin, once on top of his game, and now he's wearing size 16 sequinned gowns and gobs of make up."

"That doesn't even apply here"

Pause.

"Ok, yeah, but imagine this guy in that get up. Would not that be horrific?"

Or something like that. The point is, I'm fat. And I have no business being fat. It's not like I'm cool because of it. I'm no Chris Farley. For one I've survived longer and for two, I've never danced with Patrick Swayze and now, tragically, I'll never get that opportunity.

Ok. So how fat am I? Well, I'm not Precious fat, but I am...well...Vince Vaughn fat. Ironically, it comes back to that. That's the best way to describe it.

If you're interested in the details, here they are. As of this writing (January 10, 2010) I:

• weigh 246 pounds (yikes! but in my defense remember I am 6'5")
• wear a 38 waste (fatty!)
• get winded walking back and forth to the fridge
• avoid tying my shoes because dang it! it's hard to bend down when your gut gets all squished up between your chest and thighs.

So over the next year, I will weigh in and report my stats. Hopefully they go down each week.

So that's why I'm here. Because I am embarking on the journey of going from Fat to Fit. And I'm chronicalling this journey with my buddy Emil. Why? Well, have you seen that guy? Yeah, he's a bit portly too. And because he's one of the best friends I've ever had. If you know him, you know how awesome it is to be with that dude. Annoying at times, sure, but loveable and fun? Completely! He's like your favorite dog who sometimes will chew apart your favorite chair. But you still love him, because really, there's no better dog out there, right?

Ok, enough of the lame metaphors. Basically, what I'm saying is. I am fat. But I will be THIN!