Metabo-what?

I'm told that metabolism has a great deal to do with gaining or losing weight. What is this metabolism you say? What I like to do in this situation is break down the word into its different parts to help define it. Let's start with met which is Greek for the past tense of being introduced to someone else. Then we have abol which comes from the word abolish meaning get rid of. And lastly there is ism which is a suffix for following an ideology.  So the word metabolism means following the idea of getting rid of our recent acquaintances. Hmmm . . . that's why I'm really thinking that this metabolism cannot possibly have anything to do with weight loss/gain.

What makes much more sense to me is that weight loss/gain probably has something to do with age. You know, I used to be really skinny and people would often comment on how skinny I was. During this time, I could eat anything I wanted and not gain an ounce of weight. Now I started to notice a correlation of this age thing when I got into college. I was an exchange student with a British school, Sunderland Polytechnic (now Sunderland University in Northern England).

Sunderland University

While I was there for 6 months, I lost 15lbs. I was constantly trying to get to Germany, as German was my minor, and I finally found an exchange program with Sunderland to Carl von Ossietzky Universität in North Germany.

Carl von Ossietzky Universität

After I was there for about 3 months, I gained all 15lbs. back and continued to gain another 15 lbs., which made me heavier than I had been ever, I think I was about 160lbs. when I returned from the Vaterland.  . . .  I can tell you are amazed at my statistical knowledge and extremely scientific hypotheses, but wait . . . there's more:

I leveled back out upon my return to America to about a buck-55. And I stayed 155lbs. until I got married 3½ years later. I gained 15lbs. and stayed 170lbs. for 5 years only increasing weight when Marci got pregnant. (Actually I usually gained more  weight than she did during her pregnancies, but quickly lost the weight running around getting stuff for the new addition to the fam.) I started working in a slightly more sedentary job and that's when I noticed the weight start dripping on faster and faster. Now that I'm 38, I'm fat. By my calculations, age is the most important factor in gaining weight.

Aw, crap, that logic must be flawed somehow! I know lots of older people who are thin. Maybe the running around after childbirth has something to do with weightloss, but I can't be bothered to have more kids—this economy, it's rough with the baby wipes, etc. I'm gonna try to move more. Perhaps I'll do something on the Wii. I tried the WiiFit Plus, and there are some interesting things there in the games section, but the strength and yoga sections are kinda boring, they just want you to work out or stand in some weird position, crazy. Here I am being told by my Wii that I am "overweight!"  Notice my BMI is 29.76. WiiFit tells me that a "normal" BMI is around 22. That means I need to weigh the old 155lbs. I weighed in college.

I've got my work cut out for me.  Anyway, I've got this other game which, frankly, I don't know how they even try to call it a game.  It's more like torture with a Wii controller. It's called EA Sports Wii Active.

I tried the 1st workout routine of the 30-day challenge on hard—holy mackerel! I was sweating in places I've never sweat before. I'm sort of upset that I don't have an after picture for you, but I felt like I was going to throw up, and I couldn't work the camera. I certainly hope this gets easier, 'cause, DANG, I'm fat.